Wednesday, January 30, 2013

The Death of a Dream: Moving On After Your World Crumbles

Today I came across this blog post on the True Woman website called Making Noble Plans by a Nashville pastor's wife Jani Ortlund. The post is a thought-provoking connection to Isaiah 32:8:
 “He who is noble plans noble things, and on noble things he stands”
It got me thinking: Why have I not made any "noble plans" in the last few years? And why is this important?

From the time I was a little girl, I knew what I wanted to be. My basic plan was that right out of high school God would send me a knight in shining armor to sweep me off my feet and take me away to his castle. I wouldn't have to find a job or live with my parents. All I would do was clean house, take care of kids, and redecorate rooms. Life would be perfect! But did that happen? No. Post high school consisted of three part time jobs and an almost engagement that wasn't good timing for my spiritual maturity. Thank God that He stopped me before things got even crazier!

It's weird, really. After that relationship I had very few guys interested in me. They didn't flirt as much or seem to always know if I was in the room. All that stopped. I didn't know why! But now I think I get it. My dream and ideals had been crushed. I was no longer the vibrant, carefree girl that I had been before. I had lost my spark.

Now, a couple dreamless and fear-filled years later, God is doing something amazing. He's opening up my heart! He's letting me dream again. My world isn't as small as it used to be. I have choices! I'm not chained to circumstances.

You may be wondering, "Is this miraculous change going to last?" All I can say in response is, "Well, it's been going on for a while now!" You see, I am finally seeing that God wants me to dream. And when you dream and actually believe that God is in the dream, it beats away those fears.

To be honest, it wasn't only Jani's post that has produced this. It is also a book I've been reading by Tom Corson-Knowles called Rich By 22: How To Achieve Business Success At An Early Age. Now, am I planning on being rich by 22? Too late. That ship has sailed. Am I planning on becoming a wealthy business owner? Not really. Do I agree theologically with everything in his book? Nope. But is it one of the most encouraging and inspiring books I have ever read? Yes! It's helped me decide that I have two main overarching goals in my life-

  • Become a successful published author.
  • Become financially independent.

Why? Well, the first because writing is a gift that God has given me and being published is something He has been nudging me (rather forcefully) toward. The second because through a high enough passive income any active income I may deem necessary will be used to support the servants of God's Kingdom in their work around the globe. Being financially able to be actively involved in many different types of missions work is something wonderful. And who knows? Maybe I'll even adopt a few kids someday.

Maybe I don't have exactly how I'm going to do all this figured out. Maybe I don't have a degree. But I have a God who is a God of dreams and He knows where my heart is. As I like to say:
Our dreams are God's realities.

What are your dreams? Share them with me! Maybe we can help encourage each other.


  1. Dear Nikitah,
    It is true that some things in our lives can change us very much, can break our hearts and stop us from dreaming, because we are too afraid not to get hurt again. It's like a blockage that stops us from moving on. Many of us have such 'soft spots'. The thing is to face our fears, and not forget who we are and what we have been created for. God wants us to be His, entirely, and if I learned something in my life, well, one of those things is that meeting prince charming shouldn't be my no.1 goal in life and that there are things that can bring much more happiness than just having someone next to you, moreover if that person isn't put next to you by God. See, when you focus on what God wants from you, and on your personal grouth, you become to be enough( somehow).I think you do a good thing by following your dream to be a writer, and to be independent financially. It is part of the healing process and a way to find hapiness by being a blessing to others through the gifts that God blessed you with. I don't know you personally, but reading your post, I recalled about myself. I feel that you are a strong person and that you can overcome the past, learn from it and become even stronger. I am so grateful that God healed my 'wound' and that now, I can hope and have my dreams, even though I still don't know if they will come true- but I put my faith in Him and His promises that He will never let me go and that He's got a greater plan for me that I can ever wonder. The same is for you. Well, my 'problem' was not connected to prince charming, but that doesn't mean that there are not other means to get hurt.:p I haven't had a boyfriend yet and I'm not hurrying.:p I pray for you and hope your dreams will come!

  2. Ps: But, I hope that one day i will meet someone special sent from Above, to give him all my love and everything I am. Still, if God did't prepare someone special for me, I choose to be happy even like that, because I know that it's the best thing that could happen.:*

  3. Thanks. I appreciate your posts.:)